I Shaved My Head

Nov 12 2011

I just shaved my head. It looks something like this.

After I shaved, I felt uncomfortable. Why? Cos it looks ugly. I can sense that people think it’s ugly, too.

This wasn’t the first time I shave. I remember the first time I did (2 months ago), I walked around feeling very uncomfortable. Like there’s this feeling of insecurity that keeps haunting you, thinking about how people will look at you and think ‘urhh that doesnt look good on him’. It was uncomfortable. It was hard to get rid of. Then the hair grew, the feeling faded, and I forgot about it. Happy again.

Then I needed another haircut recently. I recalled to that feeling and thought to myself: Hey you haven’t actually defeated that fear yet.

So I shaved my head again. I wanted the feeling back, then I could face it and fight it. I want the internal confidence of the ugly guy, not the external confidence of the good-looking ones.

And you know what, I conquered it. After some struggling, I controlled the feeling! It feels great to gather the courage to face the uncomfortable feelings in your daily life and defeat it. Whether it’s asking someone out, dancing like a kid in public, spakling a random conversation with strangers, or whatever thing that you want to do but get resisted by an unknown force, it feels great to finally do it.

If my hair (or lack thereof) doesn’t sound like a big deal to you, it probably isn’t. I’m probably the only one who makes a big deal out of it. Like what Ted Gonder, one of the guys I humbly admire, wrote in his recently blog post:

“The very actions we think make us look cool or superior or funny or attractive or important usually don’t. Most people are too worried about their own scabs to care about yours.”  – Ted Gonder

2 responses so far

  1. Bravo for another great post! You’re right. We often worry too much about things that others may never notice or care about. I really like your desire to have “the internal confidence of the ugly guy”. This is something I’ve always striven for as well.

  2. […] tiring, being self-conscious. I wrote about it here and here […]

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