“Work hard. Be nice to people, always be nice to people“.
She moved on, “When I was an chemist employee, I’m nice to everybody. I fetched my colleagues to work almost everyday, and I had to work up at 5h in the morning..”, she continued with other examples about keeping a smile, being the last person to leave office etc.
A hand raised “Were these things about being nice to people for a purpose? Is there a case that the person felt s/he was being made used of?”, I asked her.
“It doesn’t matter. As long as people find you nice, they’ll treat you well back“.
My friends found it normal. But I was so disappointed by the answer.
It was the conversation I remembered the most from the dinner we had with Ms Olivia Lum, Singapore’s most successful woman entrepreneur, when she came over to Stockholm a week ago. During the dinner, she shared with us her success journey. The above conversation was at the end of the story.
I believe in a world where people are nice to each other without a purpose. They offer to help you just because they want to help you, without even thinking about any in return. They can be anybody, from strangers, your colleagues to your friends. What would you feel? You feel loved. You feel being cared.
I was once treated nicely without feeling comfortable about it, because I questioned the motive behind the person’s actions. That made me sad about myself, and sad about that person as well.
Furthermore, If I don’t like someone, I can’t pretend to be nice to him/her, regardless how good s/he is, or how many benefits and stuffs s/he can bring to me. In contract, if I like somebody, I’d try to help him/her as much as I could without even thinking of having a return from him/her.
Again, it’s all about me and my personal perspective. There is no absolute right, and wrong. It’s only how you think it is.